Its My Life!

Goodbye to you

2010-08-29T06:57:00.000-07:00

Still cant forget you yet, not even by abit wtf man, you both are gg to be one month?? And I am like an idoit here fucking counting the days, fucking missing you, and fucking worrying for you. Fuck this shit man. I am doing the best I can to make you understand what I was trying to say, but you seem too in love with him, my words did not manage to wake you up. Sometimes things just dont go your way, kind of fucked but what choice do you have. I am not God I cant do what I want with it gg my own way. Yeah so well I have to wait for the chance to happen before I can prove to you that I still love you more than anything.

Now you said I am irritating after I cared so much for you. Like wtf, sometimes I dont know what you are talking, like you change your mind fucking fast. You just keep crashing me down everyday. And you are the only one now that can pull me up so please pull me up fast....

Now sick but still dont wanna stay at home as I will keep thinking, so left the house early for the passed few days then go prime meet Zafran and Ah di we choing monster hunter the whole day till night we go home slp then the next day again like that. Haha sounds retarded but I just wanna keep my mind off you thats all...

Now gone from your heart

2010-08-18T08:01:00.000-07:00

Now I have lost you... I am lost really lost. Why must this happen. I have no mood do anything now. I have lost hope in everything le. Really hope you can be there for me now.

Wish you all the best for your everything and I will still be there for you and I love you my baby.

Loving You Sooo Silently.

2010-08-15T07:33:00.000-07:00

I wonder why I kept dreaming of you , for this passed four days I have been dreaming about the same dream. May sound freaky but for me was damn sad, I kept asking you questions and you keep answer the answer that I did not want to hear, every day waking up in clod sweat.

These few days for the time we stop talking my friends are doing their best to entertain me doing shit stuff just to keep my mind of you. I was touched by what they did. I dare to say that during that time I was still thinking about you as everywhere I walk, everything I do also remind me of you. I know you hate me now I don't see the care in your eyes for me anymore seems like you really love him alot well what can I say.

I miss you, I have no idea if you still do but well no choice seeing you from a distance is all I can do.

For your happiness you bastard me that really hurts me alot. Don't you even feel a least bit guilty? The way you treat me now? That's alright I understand maybe you just wanna hurt me back the way I hurt you last time. Hey no need to do all these as leaving me itself did enough damage to me.

I am not jealous, come on I belive I won't lose him in anything. But the only thing now is that you love him more so you can't be touch by the things I have done.

Babe you may be happy now but what about next time. I really hope you know I have changed and waiting now for you to give me one more chance.

The pictures that you left behind same like memories. Some have made us cry some has made us laugh . But one mistake made you leave. When you are saying your prayers, try to understand that I will make mistakes as I am no superman, I am just an ordinary guy.

When he holds you close, when he pulls you near, when he says the words you want to hear. The only thing I want is to be him but saying these words of mine to make you love me. That's all I want. You to be back with me.

Well I really hope one day you will call me if you need anything or just someone to talk to. But the best of all I wish you would call me saying you can't forget me... How I wish you could be mine back again....

And I am still sorry my dear, for what I have done to you. But please also remember that I still love you alot.

Missing You Right Now.

2010-08-05T07:34:00.000-07:00

I will try my best to post everyday le, because this is the only way I am able to tell her how I feel. Today was still a fucked up day. But manage to pour my heart out to someone. So it felt kind of better, I still miss her, seeing her blog really makes me upset. But nevermind, the only thing now is I got to prove myself, I will change yes it may be just words but my action are soon gonna show.Yes I admit I still miss her, still dream of her and still love her. I wont give up on someone that is so good so easily. I see you in class with my best friend so close till an extend of holding hands yes it may be play de. But.. Nevermind. I dont regret knowing you, loving you and being together with you but my only regret is to hurt you. I am sorry. Just to let you know if one day we manage to get back together, wow I swear you will see a different and better me. I am going all out for you, I will wait belive me I will. And I am telling you I belive I can do better then him now. Because you mean more then a lover and you are so so so important. If you said I left scars I am sorry please forgive me. I promise that I will be the plastic surgeon to remove all those scars. Never will I give you up. Today I dreamt of you and him again the worst part is in class, never will I dream in class and today was the first. Thats why I cried. I am pouring my heart out for you and I will do anything for you belive me I will.

Baby... Thats what you used to call me. Now you are calling someone else he took my place. How fuck can that be. People say they understand how I feel, Fuck them, no one fucking knows how I feel, try feeling this, your ex just told you that she was tgt with another guy while you still have alot alot of feelings for her, after talking she walked of and with your own fucking eyes she went into the arms of the other guy. Put yourself in my shoes now you feel it?

I will fucking do anything just to have you in my arms. And give you security. My friend told me to study so that she will next time notice you as she feel more secure for her future. I told him this I may fail my N's but no matter what I wont pull her down with me. No matter i beg, steal or what I will make sure I will make her life comfortable. Give her a roof over her head. yes we may not have money but I swear I will give her happniess that even rich people wont be able to feel it. And I will make sure I do it.

Fuck it man fucking stress now. Tell me how am I supposed to live without you sia. You are my everything. And you will always be my baby, my dear and my baobei. I am sorry.

That Should Be Me...

2010-08-04T07:25:00.000-07:00

At first letting go of you was impossible. But after today a good friend of mine told me alot of things. And well was kind of true. If he can give her happiness and treat her well, at first I thought I could win her back as I was kind of confident that I can treat her better now. But well her heart is not with me already so well at least I should feel happy for her, I cannot promise you people I wont be sad but being happy for you both is true not sacarstic. Well dont be too happy that I lost her cause I will not give up so soon I want to prove to you that I have changed. So I will wait. And to the lucky dude fucker cb dog lol make sure you treat her well. I am kind of sad and jealous that you got her but also wish you both last long.

To Jessica: I know what I have done is wrong, hurting you, lying to you and neglecting you. But all I wanna say is I am sorry, hope you forgive me yea? But just could not accept the fact that you are leaving me, you mean alot to me and a V.I.P in my life. I regreted not treausring you, if I could just turn back the time I swear I will treat you alot better, like a fucking princess well too late for this not just hope for the future I will be waiting. I will be there for you not matter what. And lastly thank you for loving me....

I WAS REPLACEDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD!

That should be me holding your hand, That should be me making you laugh, That should be me feeling your kiss, That should be me buying you gifts.

All the memories will be kept safe in my heart and will nvr be forgotten. Ily still. :)

Missing You Like Crazy!

2010-07-30T07:19:00.000-07:00

Well we kinda have a on-off relationship and finally knew the truth after all the wasted tears and quarrels, she decided that she could not take it and chose to leave me for good. Its was kind of drama like there's like a fucking love triangle and she did not know who to chose. Well now I know what my friend of mine was trying to say all along. Before you lose something learn to treasure it, before it is too late. Well everything happens for a reason so cut the shit out just fucking learn to treausre someone and don't do any shit that hurt the other party! Well we still can be friends yeah! I will still be there for you. I believe that he wont treat you bad so hope you two last long!

What A Day!

2010-07-19T05:25:00.000-07:00

Had a talk with my girlfriend after everything we decided to end this relationship. Even though we continue soon we will be back to the same situation so might as well end it here. Kind of sad but well its for the best.:) She is still my fucking good friend!!! Memories will be kept in my heart and my phone haha.

Very Confusing!

2010-07-18T06:11:00.000-07:00

Back to blogging. Getting closer with my friends already alot of improvements. Still trying to get over some people whom I lost and can never gain back this feeling. Haha but well put this one side.

Brought ah di out on Friday haha went to parklane supposed to be there at 3 in the end drag to 4+ played abit of lan after that went subway all of us were hungry so we ate a footlong each. Kind of ex but well fucking full! haha. After that rushed to jalan besar stadium to watch soccer lol well realised Home United got loads of fans some with fucking low IQ fucking funny!after that back bishan when I was about to go home was talked into tonning lol so ton lo.. The next day went to visit my ah ma, talked alot to her hope she is fine now...

Well have to post San Chuan's bday pics haha fucking fun!

Finally I am blogging!

2010-06-26T07:00:00.000-07:00

Hey people finally blogging again. Blog was dead due to my laziness well one month of sch holiday is about to end and it was fast. Did not really enjoy it as well firstly there was school for two weeks. So mostly slack around and played quite abit. Thinking as time goes by seeing my friends slowly drift away some important some not. Well of cause some quarrels with friends and my stead and some problems with other people as well as getting into trouble with the police well not as much le... Did alot of toning at friends house and well I think I mature alot during the holidays miss some people in sch whom I did not see for nearly one month. I thought alot and remember the times we all had together the only thing I can do is taking that as memories. I still remember everything to said to me I took it all to heart when you told me you just wanted to be classmates well I have to respect your decision. Haha enough of the sad stuff:)

Well did not go town alot this month but well we were happy we bought loads of stuff and the best of all we laugh alot.

Hais hope you don't think I am childish le I will prove to you and I belive that I can too now I will be blogging quite often so don't give up on my blog man!

I belive we will be back like last time

Now Left The Three Of Us

2010-03-15T05:27:00.000-07:00

Haiz...First word already so sian...Alot of things happend lately dont wish to bring it up but well friends are all leaving each other some with regret but some with no regrets... Well this one friend that left me did a great impact to my life made me change and till now after we split I still miss him and still thank him for what he did for me and my girlfriend... I will nvr forget, junyang and I really wish he could change back to his funny, reasonable oldself that would be great... Haiz even though Yang and i are gg out everyday and even today he ton my house we still think of him and wish he was here with us... Well hope we can patch things up fast and nvr split again..

On the 12th was my 5th mth with my dear well it was not so happy as we kind of quarrel till quite jia lat.. But now its over and she is still working wonder what is she doing... haiz... She is also in alot of stress now due to studies and friends problem... Well both sides got their story One day cb one day we all sit down and talk see who win. If you fuckers are reading this.. Especially the fat roasted pig, you know yourself. don't have to say out, the biggest and fattest among the shorts and 1 dark skined tall girl. well, you know roasted pig, you are very ugly and fat, and you cause the whole group to split. We are meant to be a happy group and now, see what you have done, roasted pig. why not you just roasted even more? you be a good main course for people to eat. But on the other hand, maybe people wouldn't want to eat you, cause you are blacked hearted, we will get cancer or what if we eat. Well, one day you have your retribution, you reap what you sow, roasted piggy. You can nvr try to hurt jessica as she still got friends who cares for her.. So carry on dreaming! And the gay fuck please do not interfere, I got no problem with you so just stay out of it I realise you are starting to interfere so fuck off. You know I wont hit a gay but dont leave me no choice.. Thanks.

Bye!

Some Times Words Can Hurt

2010-02-20T04:23:00.000-08:00

Blogging again...

Blog fucking dead but who cares I blog whenever I want to blog yeah! Now not caring so much what people says... Lol..hmm yesterday my friends came and accompany me to my grandparents house( including my dear of course) We went to play dota and my dear use to comp too but donno what was she doing lol... after that send her to take cab then we went to slack... The unexpected happen, some thing I dont wish to say more but it really hurt me alot and make me think alot... I dont care if it was other ppl but why must it be someone so close to me say something so hurting..

I just wanted be happy together with my friends and my gf but well not everything must be my way haiz really regretted from the start...If you are reading this I was shocked when you say that really hurtful and now then I know how much you fucking mean to me as when you said that I felt the pinch... I just wanted to be happy together...

Well if that is not possible its okay you will still be my good buddy and we will still go out but if I go out with you all lesser pls understand. I am really sry for the rest who treated that person as family but take it as I am selfish... And now another problem happen the group has split even smaller... Dont bother to explain more as now I know to find a problem is sooo easy... Lets hope these few friends still last and still go through good times and bad times.... I missed the times when we were together and united...Even though I was a newcomer I feel home very fast and I saw how much you all take care of each other and never let each other go to the darkness alone... Respect that...

2010-02-19T04:10:00.000-08:00

Haven't been posting for so long ... yet things are happening recently ...
Had quite some good times with my girlfriend!!!:)
LOL:)
Then now i am playing Dota!! LOL

I'm Back!

2010-01-28T02:52:00.000-08:00

Have not been blogging for a long time man... Well let me tell you my intresting life story

Hmm well had a few fights with my girlfriend these few weeks but well we are okay now! Hmm also some problems with other ppl too but I dont bother explaining furthur.. Hope our punishment not so jia lat lol...

Well got back with our old friends but still got some problems but hope we can solve it peacefully!:) HAHA Getting sick of school realise cant study and very tiring and boring... Now our scool become corrupted le just dont wnat say nia miss 2009 alot... Now I realise that once my very very close friend whom I share my problems with is kind of gone... Like I just cant share my problems with... I now realise how important he is to me.. If I can rewind the time I would really treasure him...Sounds gay but sometimes some friends really mean alot to you till you can do anything for them....

Hmm... People change I really hope I can get his last time character back... I just dont know what to say now hope he realise...

jeremy tay bithday

2010-01-16T18:39:00.000-08:00

I am jessica here helping my boyfriend to post!!!
Friday , went to school but i was sick..However ,i still manage to attend jeremy tay's birthday celebration!
Albert and i were late ...Everyone were at Dexter's house while Albert and i were just on our way ...
LOL!!:] Went to eat dinner at around 6+++ .At pizza hut ... Then went back to Dexter's house to play games and Fights and CAKES!!!!!!!!!
There are pictures ! And two video! Enjoy!!!

Dont Know What Is She Doing Now

2009-12-23T06:41:00.000-08:00

Time to blog about these few days... Well did not go so well because had to say goodbye to someone that really mean alot to me...she went to china yesterday for like around 10+ days I cant see her really damn sad la, Now is only the second day and I already feel that something is missing from my life, haiz... Well have to be strong and wait for her to be back hope she take care of herself dont fall sick too!!

Well these past few days was boring mostly slacking and slacking, I really miss a friend who I realise he played quite a big part in my life... I regreted treating him bad and now he is gone... I really hope he come back I miss his jokes and all... haiz really without you the world still go round but alot slower and meaningless..

Missing You Like Crazy!

2009-12-18T19:12:00.000-08:00

Hey! Heres another post from me! LOL

Had not been blogging these few days because I was very busy with friends and girlfriend. Well actually on Monday I ton at Jeremys house well slept at around 5++ because we played dota and slacked below his block shared alot of things together! Woke up at 11 like that we go eat lol Reroy buy for us haha I went his house bathe then go pick my dear send her to church.... After that Kenneth came just after his basketball match.. So slack until 7+ then decided to go home le but....That bitch ask me stay one more night lol so stay lo but that time fucking tired le haiz but the worst part was when i want slp i realise pillow were flying to my face knn dog...so bo bian aiya wake up lo play a few match of dota then went back to slp which was already 6 am!

The next day I wake up at 9.40am which was fucking 3 hours of slp wtf?? Then quick bathe change then go prime meet my dear help her and her dad to carry her books so send back too her house then we go back prime...Zzzz slack for like 10 mins then they go le so took my things from Jeremy house and went home wow terrible headache... Later around 6+ dear came find me so invited her up to my house then slack slack awhile. Her sister called ask her to meet her at hougang mall so i pei her go lo walk there haha. Reach there we go eat mac with dear, her sister, her sister's boyfriend LOL eat le walk walk awhile then they went home wherelse I walked home Zzz On the way home some shit happend dont wanna say more haha.

Yesterday went out quite late around 5 plus went to find my dear at plaza sing. LOL reach there saw her whole family there because have to celebrate her little bro's birthday so walk walk awhile her sister's bf came so went to eat some seafood place eat le tmd fucking ex so planned to go her house first then set up the cake all but before that had a puff with her dad omg damn ps... took a cab from bugis to tpy tmd 14 bucks nvm went her house with her sis nad her sis's bf lol then set up the cake all he reaction damn funny...ate the cake le then sit down awhile then home i go!

My dear now got sore eyes dont know if she still can go China not...( hope cannot) haha

Fucking Hell!!

2009-12-12T06:49:00.000-08:00

Well hello ppl heres my fucked yp post for these past few days

Had not been very pleasent because well firstly my dear in some church chalet then secondly, We had come clash with the same ppl we had with quite a few times... Let me explain more... Kenneth,Jeremy,Jessica and me were eating mac when a few bastards came up to us which is around 10 ppl came a beat Jeremy so we clash lol they usless dog we 3 nia knn call until 10 come beat us after clash awhile then police came lol then give ic all...( Eh ccb if you all reading this knn we nvr shoot you all out..careful horzz)LOL well I had my revenge lol but Jeremy not really la but I respect him one thing he got a very straight backbone! haha now our group like going no more le so only left Kenneth Daniel Jeremy and me so quite sad la but well we prove ourslef we no need THEM to live without THEM we still stand tall:) Well go home my ah ma so good help me rub my face and fist but at the same time kpkb lol Revenge is fucking sweeeeeet!

I miss her now sia wtf but nvm... Our second month nia still got more to come!

Tired!

2009-12-05T21:46:00.000-08:00

Hello! Today was normal la went church then went home butttttttt...... Yesterday fucking fun! haha

It was supposed to be all of our group ppl should be going but Kf,Edward,Joker got something on so left jeremy, Kenneth, Reroy and of course me...We went ion walk walk eat quite a few things then took a few photos then go take MRT go Kf chalet well dont want to bring back this past not very nice...

After that we ate dinner then decided to ton my house till the first bus home so went back to my house do lan sai then watch some gangster movie LOL after that drank some beer for fun then did more lan sai lol. Around 5+ we three sat down and talk abt lots of stuff. Freaking tired!

Heres The Pics For Today!

Jeremy Jackson!

I'm Back!!~

2009-12-03T05:56:00.000-08:00

Have not been blogging these few days was because I went for some camp at Old Police Academy....Well they ask us go there was to kind of ask us to change over a new leaf or something LOL...So Daniel,Joker,Jeremy reported at Cantoment at 7.15 am the worst past was there were 30+ students and 4 of us was the only chinese...Fucking sian the feeling well we played some soccer and after that went for some talk abt gangs and all. Lazy say all la but go good and bad things happen there.. The three days were something like that..

Today went of with my dear! haha we caught a movie at AMK hub with San Chuan, Callista, Sharon and Gabriel. Watched "New Moon" LOL well not bad la but the ending sucks to the max la...After that went to Orchard ION went to look at shoes! Wanted to buy a shoe from Topman but realise not so nice...So went see see then saw until Predo so go in see see in the end got one shoe I like so buy lo haha tmd then the salesgirl go talk me into buying some shoe cleaning thing for leather...Na bei lol altogether $115..After that pei my dear go see clothes around 7+ we go back Tpy go da bao Mac go Kenneth house there eat... Than slack awhile then cabed home sian waste money but I late le so bo bian la...

Well I dont know what else to say le la so...So long BITCHES AND BASTARDS! lol

Fucking Love

2009-11-28T10:02:00.000-08:00

Today..hmm... Three words ..Ka na sai..

LOL today whole day go out with family fucking tired not enough sleep...Miss her loads la.Today go bugis see Mac Book well did not buy... haha waste my time then go Thomson eat, eat liao around 10+ then go home LOL my dear came find me awhile then she gtg couse of some reason... Well nth else to post Just finish a dota game lol own like shit hehe...

MODELING SUCKS TO THE CORE!!!!!!!
Not happy can close this blog ASSHOLES!!!

Freaking Tired...

2009-11-26T14:04:00.000-08:00

Hello people...

I am freaking posting at 5.50 am now havent even slp yet for some stupid reason...Kenneth around 2am called me ask me to come down awhile to talk about important stuff so well I went...After that while walking to lor 7 the coffe shop tio screen by two policemen heng nvr check pocket if not die le... we reach the coffe shop then Kenneth went by beer drink lol after that went serangoon for some reason to find someone, took a cab down lol $8 plus then reach there in the end for nothing...Fucking sad and pissed at the same time wtf sia... That was around 4 plus liao then I decided to walk home well in the end Kenneth agreed well the whole journey was quite sad...Emoed alot....We reach lor 8 there wow was kind of relive lol then we go check the first bus after that go playground slack then share some problems with each other....haizzzzzzzzz miserable sia... Freaking sad to see my good friend so sad for the first time...Nvm...Now going slp le freaking tired.

Heres the emo pic for today haha

We have our ups and downs

2009-11-26T05:42:00.000-08:00

Haha second post...Dont laugh la

Today wanted to see my dear awhile but too late le her dad came home so decided to call Kenneth ask him where is he...He was slacking with Jeremy so I was abit lazy take bus so took cab go his house there...We talk cock awhile then was very hungry lol we decided to call Mac delivery but the bitch say need wait 1hour plus so did not plan to wait we went Lor 5 eat...Lol as per normal they ate ban mian but I thought of trying something different so I buy some egg thing but it was fucking like... hmmm shit? lol then slack again till around 9 like that then go home..LOL poor Jeremy one person take bus home...Well end of my post today going dota soon...Oh yeah had some small fight with her today...I am really sorry!

What a day!~

2009-11-25T19:11:00.000-08:00

LOL Today is my first time blogging cause of some people that talked me into it...Well lets see how fun blogging could be. Well I will be posting about what happend yesterday, Stella in a short notic told us that she wanted to see us as she did not see us for hmm.... around one month plus. So I cabbed down to ang mo kio. haha kanna bomb by her dont know wth she doing in her house...So I decided not to waste time, I went to some coffe shop buy a drink and a lighter... After around 10 mins she came down, She ask me call Kenneth come down, Soon after he came then we three go slack at some void deck. LOL Kenneth became gay he started asking us to take pictures LOL... Later I show you all. We soon left Stella and Anicia. Kenneth and I took a bus down to prime lol shared alot of "personal" things... We decided to call Jeremy and Audrey... lol was quite fun slacking with them...Oh yeah and my dear came to see me awhile but in the end i have to send her all the way to jericho and then walk back to prime there Zzzz.... After that we decided to call Joey and Sharon...Well we had our reasons. Haha After that some bitch go spoil my phone tmd I must restart the whole fucking phone... Reach home around 11 then go bathe then call my dear started talking then decided to call Kenneth conference lol we talked until 1.30 am then I was freaking tired so I slpet first dont know bout the rest....

Eh people dont be a bitch and go laugh hor, My first time blogging and I find it retarted lol must crack my brain remember about yesterday thingZzzz.

The pictures we took today